Starting Fresh!!!!

Do you know how long it has been since I have posted anything on here? I know it has been like MONTHS!!! This is so unlike me. I don't know what happened. I was thinking that people don't even read my posts or don't even care what is going on with my life anymore, so I just stopped writing about my life. But then I realized that the whole reason I created this blog was to have an escape sort of thing. A place I can go to write down what I am feeling and what is going on in my life, sort of like a "virtual diary" type of thing. So even if no body ever reads what I post on here anymore, at least I have a way to express how I feel and what is going on. So I decided to START FRESH!!! And begin to write in my blog again even if no one ever reads it ever again.

So Let me start by saying that I am doing a lot better now. I have been under so much STRESS lately because of Sam not working again and having absolutely NO MONEY to pay our bills. I have picked up a second job, taking care of a little girl who has disabilities in her home. I work EVERY Night of the week, either I work with her or I have a meeting of some kind that keeps me out of the house, every single night. Well That was taking a REAL BIG toll on me, physically, mentally, emotionally, psychology, you name it; and I LOST IT!!! Last week, I had what I believed was a nervous break down!!! I collapsed from pure EXHAUSTION and I could not function AT ALL!!! I slept for 3 days. I did not go to work, I did not do any house work, I did not talk to Anyone, I did not really eat, I didn't DO A DAM thing for 3 whole days and I think it really scared Sam to death. He was really concerned about me. Since then I have slowed up a lot, went to the Dr to talk to them about getting on some medicine, and I only work 3 days a week at night now instead of 6. My bills are PILING Up but I don't want to kill myself trying to make ends meet, it is not good.

So a good thing happened while I was home for those 3 days. One of my friends called, and I really don't even know why I answered the phone but I did (I really didn't want to talk to anyone) but something told me I should answer the phone when Pam called me. So when I answered the phone she said to me, are you feeling ok, you sound sick. I told her, the only thing that will make me feel better is if Sam can get a job and we can get out of the hole we are in. Well, her boyfriend was sitting next to her, he was on his lunch break from work, one thing led to another and SAM is starting a brand new job with her boyfriend on July 1st. They have to wait till July 1st because of the fiscal year thing. Anyway, he is going to be a carpenter at Delaware State University College. Taking care of all the Dorms and Apartment buildings. There is over 800 units there and they need a carpenter really really bad. So Tony, the boyfriend of my friend Pam, said he is going to hire him definitely and he is going to start on July 1st. MAN JULY 1st could not come soon enough. Sam will be temporary for the first 60 days and then if they like him and he works out, he will become permanent and get benefits and all that. So HOPEFULLY everything works out and things will start looking up and we will be able to get back on our feet again. I will keep you all posted about that.

I am leaving for New Orleans next Sunday and I can not wait for that. I will be gone for 10 days. I can not wait. No laundry, dishes, cooking, cleaning, working, no nothing!!! Yes it will be a conference and I will be in meeting type of things all day and working, but it is a different type of working. So I am so excited about that. Then when I get back after that, I will be home for 10 days and then I will be flying to Minneapolis, Minnesota for a week for another conference. I am super excited about that one because I got chosen for this training and only 20 people in the whole UNITED STATES got chosen for this and I am one of those 20 people. So I will be doing a lot of traveling this summer along with working summer school. SO I will be very very busy in the next 2 months but Hopefully with Sam starting working and things gonna get better, we should be alright again.

Today is Tyler's Birthday!!!! My BABY BOY is now 12 years old. Can you believe that he is almost a teenager now? I can't believe I have 3 teenage boys now. Wow where has the time gone? Yesterday was Lil Sam's Birthday and he is 17!!! Talk about feeling OLD. My boys are such great kids. All three of them got their end of the year report cards and all three of them are on the honor roll and all three of them passed and are doing wonderful. Sam will be a SENIOR in High School next year can you believe that? Cody will be a Freshman in high school and Tyler will be in 7th grade. So they are all doing Fantastic. They are not doing anything this summer at all except saying home chilling because we have NO money for them to do anything. Lil Sam is looking for a job for this summer but they are really hard to come by around here. But he is still looking every day. He wants to work so he can try and get a car of his own. Maybe one day something will come up and he will find a job.

Well I said I was starting Fresh and since then I think I have written a book so I better get off of here now and leave some more news for tomorrow.

HAVE A WONDERFUL FATHER'S DAY EVERYONE!!!

ENJOY YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS!!!!