And 2 more makes 7

All her life, I have helped my niece Kimbirlee in every way that she needed help. She has always been like the daughter I never had. And I would continue to help her no matter what happens in her life or what she is going through. Well today is her birthday. She is now 20 years old. And to be quite honest, she should be enjoying these years. These are her prime years of life, enjoyment, fun, almost a legal adult, hanging out with her friends, doing different things that young adults do. But instead she is STRESSED, DEPRESSED, And just has all kinds of problems right now. She should be enjoying her birthday but she is not. I am trying to make it nice for her, but she is in tears right now. You see, she has been basically going from one place to another over the past few months. She really has no place to basically live. She has been staying at friends houses, family's houses, etc. And she is now at my house (temporarily). However, she has come back to live with me this time with a Boyfriend. Don't get me wrong the boyfriend is nice and he is a good guy. BUT he does not have a Job. It is really hard right now for anyone to get a job in our state. Believe me, I know because we just went through it all last year. He is applying to several different place for a job and doing all kinds of things to try and find a job, but jobs are so scarce right now. If they keep it up, something will happen and he will be able to find a job. I know because it happened to us. Well, she and her boyfriend are staying her right now and Lil Sam doesn't like it. He feels like his space has been invaded. They are keeping their clothes and stuff in his closet right now because that is about all the room I have for them to put anything that they have without it being in the middle of the living room floor. So tonight Kimbirlee was about to take a shower and she had to go into Sam's room to get some clothes and stuff. Well, she forgot to knock and lil Sam just got so pissed off (his girlfriend was in there too) they weren't doing anything, it was just the fact that she walked in there without knocking and lil Sam feels like she is invading his space. I don't know what else to do. I can not leave them to live on the streets and they really have no place else to go. So tonight when Kimi walked into Sam's room without knocking, he started just yelling at her, cussing her up and down and it became such a war. They have always been best cousins, but right now it is stressful for both of them and I do not know what to do. He was telling her to get rid of her looser boyfriend, he was saying that she was making bad decisions in her life and all kinds of stuff like that. I told him, she can't help that right now, she has no where else to go, she has nothing and she needs to be here for right now and that he needs to just stop. Well it got crazy and they all left. It is quiet in here right now, but they all need to get along because right now, Kimi has no place else to go. I know I do not need to have "them" staying here, I could tell him to go, but I was young and dumb once and decided that the boy I was with was the best thing since sliced bread and I couldn't be without him either. So I have given both of them an ultimatum. I told Kimi and her bf that they could stay her till the end of April. They have to give me $60 a week (she works), and they have exactly one month for him to find a job and/or show me every single day what he has applied for and what the job hunt looks like. But until then it is crazy in here with 3 teenage boys, 2 very young adults (bf is 22 yrs old) and Sam who has to sleep during the day and work at nights, and me who works days and has meetings, appointments, and different things that I do in the evenings. So it is what it is and I don't know what else to do or say to either one of them right now. I know our house is small, we barely fit in it as it is. And now we have 2 more that makes 7 people living under one roof. But we have to do what we have to do to help her and to live together while we are helping her.

The Feeling of Being Stress FREE!!!

STRESS~~~~It can Kill! It can Destroy!! It can Cause Damage!! It can Break up Relationships!! It is So EVIL!! IT is the Devil!! It is FEAR!! It is Worry!! It is Heart Ache!! It is Horrible!!! How many times have you been stressful about something, someone, some situation??? How did you feel? What did it do to you?? What did it do to those around you?? I bet all the answers to these questions are all NEGATIVE!!! That's what stress is, Negative, Bad, Hurtful, Etc. In plain English STRESS SUCKS!!!!!!!! I know Many Many Many people have and still do suffer from stress of one sort or another. I know many people deal with stress in many many different ways. And many people come out of it ok and yet others are still "stuck or sucked" into it and don't see a way to get out of it. It is not good. Being in a constant state of stressfulness is such a bad thing for you physically, mentally, emotionally, cognitively, etc. Some people think or believe that they will Never get out of it, they will never become stress free, they will suffer forever. But that is SO NOT TRUE!!! Those who know me, know my family, know my situation~~~knows that we were very very very STRESSFUL, STRESSED Out, DEPRESSED, Etc. We didn't know which way was up, which way was out, which way was go, which way to turn, we didn't know what to do. BUT YOU DO KNOW WHAT TO DO! You Give IT ALL UP TO GOD!!!! About 6 months ago, I could not carry it all myself. I could not bear the weight of our problems on my shoulders anymore. I could not function and keep it together anymore. AND I GAVE IT ALL UP TO GOD!! I have found God again. I Surrendered!!! And the blessings, the love, the strength, the wisdom, the support, the energy, the EVERYTHING that I have gotten since then has been so OVERWHELMING!!! All our needs have been Met. We are Healthy, Healed, and Prosperous!! WE ARE STRESS FREE!!!! And that feeling of Freedom is REMARKABLE!!! The feeling of not worrying about things, bills, money, emotions, everything, is such a Fantastic feeling. The feeling of Happiness, Love for life again, is beyond description. And I have GOD to THANK For ALL OF IT!!!! Don't Doubt God's Ability!!! He Will Prevail!!! He Will Lead!!! He Will Carry!! He Will Support!!! HE WILL!!!!! So if you are stressed, depressed, worried, just don't know which way to turn, which way to go, which end is up~~~LOOK UP & GIVE UP!!! God is Waiting for you!!!!

Where has the week gone?

As I am sitting here, I can not believe that this week is almost over. Last week it went by so slow and I just could not wait for the weekend. This week is like the total opposite. It is going by so fast and I don't even know why.

Today at work, we had so much fun. We are planning on going to the Please Touch Museum in Philadelphia in May to celebrate the end of the year. Well the cost for us to go to that field trip is $15.00 per person including adults and we all have to pay for that. So we have decided to do a bake sale to help raise funds for our field trip. So we are going to have a bake sale tomorrow at school. Now I work with 3 and 4 year old children who have disabilities. And today we were baking brownies, muffins, and cupcakes. IT was so much fun to have them help us with it. This is the first time we have ever done a project like this. We had them each pour in the ingredients into the bowl. Then we had them each take a turn to stir it with the spoon. Then we hooked up the mixer to a switch so that they can turn it on and off and watch the mixer mix the stuff. You should have seen their faces, watching that mixer and making it go on and off. It was priceless. We realized that they all probably never get the chance to help mom and dad in the kitchen because sometimes it is just easier to do it as adults. Well, look at the enjoyment and the learning that took place today. IT WAS SO FUN as a teacher to see them today. It really makes us LOVE our JOBS EVEN MORE. So we did the baking today and now tomorrow we are going to set up a table in the hallway and sell our stuff and they are all going to be so excited about it. OH and we even made posters to advertise our bake sale. We found pictures of baked things in magazines. We cut them out and they glued them on paper that they colored all different colors on. So they glued pictures any which way they wanted on the papers and then we wrote our info as far as time, date, place, price and things like that. Then they helped us hang the posters in the hall. I don't think they quite understand the whole thing of what we are doing, but I know they are having fun doing it and I know WE are having fun watching them learn and have fun learning. So I wish you all could come down to our school tomorrow and come buy something from our bake sale. IT is going to be a great day tomorrow.

~~Have a Great Day Tomorrow~~

So Glad it is Saturday!!

I have never been so happy to Say TGIF then I was yesterday. I don't know if it was the time change, the week long conference and training on I was in last week, or the week long of work I had at work this week, or what it was. But last night when I got home, I was so glad it was Friday and I had off for 2 days. Having such a busy life really tends to creep up on me and I just feel so totally exhausted sometimes and I just need to DO NOTHING For a little while. And today is one of these DAYS. I slept in today till 9:30 am and I Never sleep in. Then I got up, ate some frosted mini wheats - yum, then vacuumed the house, dusted, cleaned bathrooms and then I was done for the rest of the day. I put some meatballs in the crockpot for dinner and now I have been on the computer catching up on things that I have not had the chance to do since I got back from DC. And I am not leaving my house till tomorrow morning to go to church. This week I felt like the world was going just way too fast and I just could not keep up with it. I don't know why either. I guess it was being in training all week last week, not sleeping well in the hotel room, the time change, then coming home to going straight back to work, meetings, appointments, and cleaning and all kinds of things. BUT if I didn't have that going on in my life, I would be so dam bored and I would go crazy. So I am not complaining, I just rejoicing in the fact that I am so glad it is Saturday!!!

So in case you don't know, my oldest son Sam is graduating high school this year and he is turning 18 and he has joined the marines. YES I am super excited and super nervous and super proud of him all at the same time. Because of the lack of funds and troubles we have had in our lives over the past few years, Sam and my other two boys have not really had much growing up. And since you only graduate high school once, turn 18 once, and join the marines once--We are going to give Sam a HUGE party for him in June and we are getting super excited about it. It is all coming together nicely. First of all I love to plan big events like this. I love to have parties and I am huge organizer. I guess it runs in the family because my mom likes to do that too. So I have rented a hall to have our party in. I found one for only $100 for the ENTIRE DAY!! That is fantastic because usually when you rent a place it's like $100 or more per hour and you only get it for like 4-5 hours. So I got a great deal on a hall. It is an OLD church, they turned into a public facility to rent out. So it has a lot of antique character, it is beautiful. Then I found a DJ for 5 hours for only $200 for the whole time. That again was a big bargain because DJ's cost anywhere from $50-100 an hour too. So $200 for 5 hours is Great. Then I have a great friend who does Printing and Publishing and he is going to make all of my invitations for FREE! He said he has a TON of paper that he needs to use up and He needs some practice so he is going to make the invitations, place cards, thank you cards, and a guest book for me all for FREE!! So that is cool. Then I have a really great friend and some family members who are going to help with the cooking and the food. So all I have to do is buy the food. Which I know will be expensive but not half as expensive as having it Catered. Then I need to get plates, cups, napkins, forks and stuff like that. And Sam's club will make a huge sheet cake with Sam's picture on it for only $30 and it feeds up to 75 people. Can't beat that. So as you can see, I am really working hard on getting this party together for lil Sam. I really hope everyone we invite can make it there because this is a VERY Special time for him and we are all so so so PROUD OF HIM!!! Details and Invitations will be coming to you all soon. So look for them in the mail.

Next week is going to be so much better. I only have 2 meetings and 1 dr appt, besides going to work. So next week is a little bit of an easier week for me. I shouldn't be so tired next week.

I am still looking into my options to going back to school too, so look for postings on that when I find out what my options are and what I decided to do.

Until then~~~HAVE A WONDERFUL WEEKEND!!!!!!!

Back & Busier then ever

I have been back from DC since Sunday night and I have been busier then ever. I think the time change has gotten to me too. When I got back on Sunday, I walked into the house and fell right to sleep for like 3 hours. I was so exhausted. Then I got up and had to do a ton of laundry cus you know when you go away you always come home with lots of laundry. So after I did all that and got the house somewhat back together, (cus leaving 4 men home to do house work is not the same as 1 woman)! Then I had to get up super early the next day to go to work and start the week all over again. So I went to work on Monday then had to take lil Sam to the Dentist, then had a meeting at 5, then had to come home to more house work and more laundry. By Tuesday after work, I was so dam exhausted, I just had to go to sleep for a few hours. I have not been sleeping that good at all, especially in the hotel all week long. I don't know why, but when I go away, I really don't sleep well. So I guess it had all caught up with me. But now I am fine and I am back to normal. Working, meetings, appointments, cleaning, and the list goes on and on.

Well, I have been reevaluating my life lately and I have been doing a lot of thinking and soul searching and I think I have decided to go back to school and get my license to be an occupational therapist. I have enough credits right now and all I would need is like 17 more credits to become a teacher. BUT the more I think about it the more I really really don't want to become a teacher. There is just way too much paper work and data work and other work time spent AWAY from the kids and I just do not want to be away from the kids that much. If I become an occupational therapist, I can be with the kids more and on a one on one basis. I can work on their goals and objectives and help them become more independent and the more and more I think about that, that is really what I have been working on for like the past 27 years. So it only makes sense that I become an occupational therapist. So in the next few weeks I am going to look into what is available and where and I am going to start taking the classes that I need to become an occupational therapist. I have been inspired so much by my cousin to go back to school and pursue a dream, something she has been waiting to do ALL her life but was never able to do it, due to reasons beyond her control. And now she is independent and living her life the way she was meant to live it. And she is going to be an author one day and that is what she was always meant to be. So it is never too late to be what you might have been. It is never too late to learn and do fulfill your dreams.

So as my new journey in life begins, I will be giving up some things that are time consuming in my life one at a time, but it will all be worth it in the end. I will still be working with children with disabilities, what I have been placed on this Earth to do, but I will be doing it on a more one on one basis and working towards their independence. So as I start this new chapter in my life, I will keep everyone posted on my journey and I will keep working towards my goals.

Here in Washington DC

I have been in Washington DC since Sunday afternoon and I must say that I have been having an absolutely fantastic time. I am part of this NEA Leaders for Tomorrow program and Man am I learning so much. IT is so fantastic!!! I can't even sit here an begin to tell everyone how amazing this program is. Unless you are part of NEA, my words can't even give this program justice. But just believe me that this is the Most Amazing Program out there for ESP in the Country. And Anything and everything that I am capable of doing to help this program continue and succeed, I will do without a doubt!!!

I am here till Sunday. We had a few hours off today to be able to sight see around DC and a group of us went to the Library of Congress. OMG if you have never been there, you HAVE to take a trip to DC to see that. It is FULL of RICH HISTORY of our United States of America. It was Wonderful!!!

Anyway, I don't have much time today, I just wanted to update everyone and let you all know what is happening with me for now. As things progress this week, I will be able to put more stuff on here.

I still don't have a camera so if I get pictures sent to my email, I may put some up here.

~~~~Have a great night everyone. Enjoy your Tuesday!!!!~~~~

This Week has ended~~Let the Weekend Begin!!!

First of all, let me start by saying that I was sick the beginning of this week and although I hate being sick, I was glad I was sick this week and not next week. I had a very bad nasty sinus infection and it was going into my ears and my head. But I got some strong antibiotics and things seem to work themselves out and I am better now. And Thank God because I have a Wonderful week ahead of me and I am so so so so excited about it. I am leaving for DC about 8 am tomorrow morning for a whole week. I won't be home till next Monday. I am going to the National Education Association--Educational Support Professional Conference (NEA ESP Conf). Well you all know I am a Paraprofessional I work as a teacher's aid to children with severe disabilities and I LOVE MY JOB~My Passion in Life~ Well last year, I was chosen by the State of Delaware to be the ESP of the Year in the whole state. What an honor to be chosen and recognized for the JOB YOU LOVE TO DO!! Recognized for the influence I have on my students, recognized for the differences I have made in my student's lives. Recognized for being who I am and what I have been placed on this Earth to do. It is REMARKABLE and I can not put into words what this has done for me, the feelings of others aware of our children are out there and they need all the love and attention and can learn just like any other child in this world, they just learn different things. It is ABSOLUTELY Incredible to have someone realize what I have known for over 27 years and that is Patti Reid was born to teach children with disabilities and she is One of A KIND!!!!!
Well~~~~This week in Washington DC, at the NEA ESP Conference on Friday they are going to choose the ESP of the YEAR for the Country!!! AND I have been NOMINATED FOR THAT AWARD!!!! There are approximately 25 people who do all different kinds of work with in the schools nominated for this. Like some work with kindergarten kids, some work as custodians, some are bus drivers, some work in the lunch room.......basically anyone who is not a teacher is considered an ESP. And every year each state can nominate an ESP of the year from their state to be nominated for the NATIONAL ESP of the YEAR!!! And I have been NOMINATED for that Award!! No one knows who has won this award yet, it is at a banquet dinner that is going to be held on Friday night. It is a total surprise for the people in attendance that night. There are approximately 700 people there that night. So this is an EXTREMELY BIG THING IN MY WORLD!!! And IF I Win~~~OH MY GOSH!!!!! First of all, I would get NATIONAL RECOGNITION for the Job that I LOVE TO DO, I would get invited to travel ALL over the country and speak to people on different things pertaining to my job and my students, I would be invited to MEET some very higher ups in the country, All kinds of things like that AND I WOULD WIN $10,000 IN CASH IN MY POCKET AS A THANK YOU FOR THE JOB YOU DO FOR OUR STUDENTS EVERY DAY!!!!!!! OMG! WOW! I can not get my hopes up and I am not but I am just so excited to just even be PART of that, to be RECOGNIZED for my Passion in Life, to be able to get my name out there, to help show the awareness that our students need and deserve to be treated as equals and they are ABLE to DO things~Just do them differently and do different things then the average child. That is totally why I am so EXCITED about this HONOR!!! It is a chance for our students to have a VOICE!!!! And that Voice is ME!!!
So LET THE WEEKEND BEGIN!!!! Wow, the feelings I am feeling right now is PRIDE, HONOR, THANKFUL, and LOVE for REALIZING MY DESTINY AND THE PURPOSE I HAVE BEEN PLACED ON THE EARTH!!

MAKE YOU OR BREAK YOU!!!!

Wow I can not believe I have not blogged on here in almost a whole year. We have had such a bad year that I didn't want to do anything at all much less blog about it. But I have been inspired, renewed, rejuvanated, and grown stronger and I want to tell the world all about it. First of all, if anyone knows me, knows that 2010 was the WORST YEAR of our ENTIRE LIFE!!! Sam and I have been together for over 20 years now and we have NEVER EVER been through what we went through last year. To sum it up~~~~It was the WORST YEAR OF OUR LIFE~~~BUT IT TURNED OUT TO BE THE BEST THING WE HAVE EVER GONE THROUGH!!!!!
Sam was unemployed for the entire year. He lost his job because the man who owned the business he was working for, skipped town and left 4 employees hanging. He could not collect unemployment because the could not find the guy. We went on food stamps. I was the only one working. There were NO JOBS at all for Sam to get. The unemployment rate was at it's highest in history throughout the country. I was working full time and I even picked up a second job (taking care of a child with disabilities in her home). I was working my ass off. Plus taking care of the boys, the house, Sam, etc. you name it!! I was running myself raggid!!! I was so stressed out, I was over worked, lacked sleep, became really really depressed, just trying to keep it all together and keep things going. Meanwhile, Sam became so depressed he would not get up. He would not eat, he would not get out of bed, he would not leave the house for NOTHING!! His self esteem was shot!! He felt inadaquate!! He was so stressed that he went almost a whole week without eating, or getting out of bed for nothing!! He got to the point that he wanted to kill himself. He wanted end it all. The bills were pileing up, the money was going quick, the bill collectors were calling, my wages were threatened to be attached, his truck got repoed. He was loosing it and I was loosing it along with him. The more he laid around and did nothing the more I worked and got pissed off about the whole situation. Fighting all the time, leaving all the time, never wanting to come home to this mess. The boys were in the middle of it and they thought we were going to get a divorce, believe me I was heading that way!! Then one day, I decided to GIVE IT ALL UP!!! I parked my van in a park, cried my eyes out, screamed for help, and PRAYED TO GOD to take this all away!!!! I prayed for GOD to HELP ME, HELP US, Take all this away because I could not handle it anymore. They say God does not give you more then you can handle and when you can't handle it anymore, give it back up to GOD and he will carry it for you. So that's what I did. 3 hours parked in my van, by myself with GOD!!! I realized at that moment that Sam NEEDED HELP!! He was not going to get up or do anything anymore without some kind of help. So when I got home, I contacted the suicide hotline, told them all about Sam. Asked them for some help with him and had them come into the house to help him. They came in, talked to him for like 2 hours and talked to us together and from that moment on Sam realized that what he had was a real problem and he had to come out of it or he was going to loose it all including his life. He agreed to get help, see a doctor, get some medicine, and try and get out of the funk he was in. So he started medicine, started to feeling better, started to look for a job again. Started to see some life in him again. THEN he had a STROKE! Wow Talk about a rude awaking!!! HE was in the hospital for 4 days, and thank GOD did not suffer any side effects. Came home and went back to looking for a job again. Within 3 weeks of getting out of the hospital, he was offered a job at a grocery store right up the road from us, within walking distance. He started there part time, over night, unloading trucks, stocking shelves. Stuff like that. The manager said to him after 90 days if you work out and we like you, we will see what we can do about giving you full time. Exactly 11 days later, the manager comes to him says someone had to quit because they were moving out of state and offered Sam Full Time with OVER TIME!! So now Sam is still working there, loving every minute of it. Works more then 40 hours a week, gets at least 8-10 hours a week over time at time and half. He is still taking his medicine and doing better then he has done in years. Those who know him, know what I am talking about.
They say that situations like this can either make you or break you. Well this whole situation that we were in has TOTALLY MADE US STRONGER THEN WE HAVE EVER BEEN IN OUR ENTIRE LIFE!!! We have learned so much, grown so much, appreciated so much, valued so much, and are two totally totally different people because of it. And I have to THANK GOD for EVERYTHING because if it wasn't for him, who knows where we would be today!!!